The People-Pleasing Disease

Maybe it starts at school, or maybe it comes from getting ice cream when you do good things.

Who knows, but many of us are plagued most of our adult lives with the people-pleasing disease.

It’s easy to catch and hard to cure.

When I was gigging (in my youth : ) I discovered that the key to not constantly being deflated is to not focus on the one person scowling whilst the other 99 clap and enjoy themselves.  Funny how something in us can’t let go of the one person who just doesn’t like us.

In online/digital promotion there is a rule of thumb; 10% will love you, 10% will hate you, and 80% will be positive in sentiment.  The key is to not drain your resources and energy on the 10% that will never be happy.  Acknowledge them, thank them for their feedback and move on.

I’m convinced that if we take the same rule of thumb and apply it to our lives things would be much more straight forward.  If we factor in 10%  of the people in our worlds to never be our greatest fans, then maybe we can embrace their place as just that – the 10% – and focus on the other 10% who ARE our greatest fans, and the 80% who “Like me  – Yes they really like me  (Sally Field).

Or possibly it’s something deeper in learning to set my own expectations of myself, to decide for myself what is my best, and hold myself accountable to my own standards, not someone elses’.  The only real obstacle between me and greatness isn’t my critic but myself.

Or, possibly, it’s a deep-down desire simply to please people in hopes of getting more ice cream.  If in fact that is the case, I’d suggest you just buy your own.

2 Thoughts on “The People-Pleasing Disease

  1. Pingback: The People-Pleasing Disease

  2. What an extraordinary post. Great job, please continue…

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