Tag Archives: Relationship

Say It To My Face

Ah the power of email.

You can scream, swear, call your mother names, demand my way IN CAPITAL LETTERS and write threatening things I’d never dream of saying – all without the risk of you leaning over and punching me in the face.

 

Ah the power of text.

You can break-off long term relationships, fire me, address that ‘thing about me that has always driven you crazy’ call off plans last-minute or apologise that you stood me up – all without having to face the disappointment in my eyes.

 

Ah the power of twitter, facebook and the like.

You can pride yourself in all the relationships you have, the people in high places who retweet your tweet, like your facebook post and comment on your holiday photos– all without having to spend a single moment putting any true effort in to those relationships.

There is and will always be value in the face to face.  No matter how “connected” we are, nothing ever takes the place looking someone in the eye.  Harder though it may be, it’s how relationships – the ones that last in life, in business, in love – are built.

So go on – say it to my face.

What’s Weighing You Down?

personal development, relationships, leadership

Flip Flippen (his name – really!) recently tweeted that “We all have constraints. What is important is that you’re not the same person, constrained by the same things, year after year”.

I’ve had to recently look at my life as new additions (husband & job) meant that a ‘spring clean’ of my plans and habits was in order.  Painful.  Just the accumulated hours of television watching over a week makes me cringe.

More than just time poorly spent though are the habits – actions & reactions – that weigh me down and hold me back.

Image the one thing that you know is your greatest weakness.  Not chocolate (unless it really is a struggle and harming your health!), but a real weakness.  Now imagine life without it.  Imagine how it hurts the people in your world and how making a change would benefit them.  Or how it hurts you, and making a change would benefit you.  Or both.

Try working on just that one thing.  Don’t try to quit smoking as well, or lose weight, or cut out sugar and alcohol.  Don’t overwhelm yourself to the point of defeat.  Just face this one weakness, knowing you are absolutely able to defeat this if you truly put your mind to it, and go for it.  Give it up, let it go, stop.

I will if you will.

 

Even The Bugs Do It

Ants. Who knew they could get it so right?

On a zip-lining adventure tour in Costa Rica we were introduced to the leaf-cutter ants.  Turns out the guide knew a lot about the rainforest and its inhabitants; not just how to terrify dumb white tourists by suspending them hundreds of feet in the air by a wire and calling it a ‘ride’.

So get this.  The leaf-cutter ant community is divided into three groups: a queen, several drones, and possibly millions of workers. There are as many as seven different kinds of workers. Workers are also divided into castes; There are 22 different community jobs the colony caste members must perform.

Crazy eh?  So much community and not a word spoken.  And they’re blind.   So maybe community is something that could come naturally?

When the chief leaf-cutters’ mandibles grow too dull to cut they retire, and the community takes care of them for the remainder of their life.  What a concept.

So I guess this is a ‘what if’ post.

What if we all gave greater value to working together than to getting ahead?  What if we each recognised we have a role in society and our community and embraced that role rather than feeling threatened by the others?  What if we took care of all those in our community past the point of fending for themselves?

Idealistic I know.  But we can dream.

The Beauty In Community

One week, 40 people, 6 Countries.

We all met in Costa Rica for the wedding that would take place 5 days later; the group committed to the next 7 days with each other for better or for worse.

What ensued was truly the most joyous occasion.  Each individual party – most not knowing each other – took time to get to know the others, with there never being the same combination twice at a meal it seemed.

Regardless of what the day held we would all gather for ‘happy hour’ (most of which was taken up simply waiting for your drink from the poor inexperienced barman) as the greater group, spending time convalescing over our days.

Come the day of the wedding the group had grown to know and love each other.  The wedding party was truly that – a real party.  Not needing to make the small talk necessary in groups of strangers, the entire group truly let their hair down and enjoyed the day and each other.

Needless to say the dance floor was truly something else.

What resulted was 2 families who will always feel they hold relationship with the other regardless of the fact we live on different continents, and friendships that we deepened as dear friends were brought in to the family fold.

I’ve realised from this once again that when it comes to building community, nothing can replace the value of time.