Tag Archives: Marriage & Relationships

Silos of Character

Why is it that we always give those closest to us the hardest times?

They say (whoever they are) that you always hurt the ones closest to you.  Why?  It makes no sense.  Is it because when the walls come down we somehow feel free to act towards those closest to us in a way that we’d never dare treat others?

I’m convinced that different areas of our lives mature at different rates – in silos almost.  The person I’ve become in the professional world and the character I’ve learned doesn’t always translate in to my home life.  I have a theory that it’s possibly because in my job I have built a career with thousands of little integrous decisions that no one ever knows about but me, but that have developed me in to the person that I am now. Most certainly I have a long way to go, but I’ve come a long way.

Having only been married a few months, I’m making good decisions (and bad) but building the foundations of character in that area of my life is quite a bit less developed.  So, I react to situations sometimes in my marriage in ways that I would never react at work.  Funny.  Yet each time I make a good decision, choose to let go of my old stubborn ways, put the other person first, I move closer and closer towards becoming the person of character in my marriage that I would love to be.

So maybe that’s why we attack those closest to us.. because we’ve not built the foundations there in the same way that we have with those in other environments.   I’m working towards getting better though, growing up, one good decision at a time.

 

Is Marriage Back In Style?

We’re at a wedding tomorrow – the 3rd one (including ours) in 3 months.  And that’s just our close friends.

Maybe it’s because I’m married that I now notice all the women my age on the tubes in the morning with wedding rings.  Half my co-workers though – most of whom are younger than me – and most of my friends are married too.  Is it that marriage is coming back in style?

London, the single man’s mecca, is growing up it seems.  Or maybe it’s just that we are.  Either way, I like it.

It seems the taboo on ‘giving up your freedom’ turned out to be a little ridiculous, and girls everywhere are back to dreaming about  weddings and their lives as part of a duo. Turns out ‘freedom’ and ‘loneliness’ can often be interchangeable.  One month in and I can not state enough how much fun it is waking up next to your best friend every morning.

Hey – if even Kate Moss is doing it, it must be cool.

And there you have it.  For once in my life, I’m in the ‘in’ crowd.

 

 

Ode To Those That Were Never Sure

To all those that were never sure

To those that were waiting with bated breath to see if I would fail

To the past that is firmly behind me

To the mistakes I’ve made – and thankfully learned from

To being single

To having lots of space and free time ;)

To all that comes to an end when I marry the man of my dreams:

The Wedding Countdown Part 2

The Happiness Within
Creative Commons License photo credit: Arghya a.k.a Orgho

23 days.

Things are looking up considerably from the last time I counted.

We have good friends who are getting married a week or so before we are, and talking to them makes me realise how very normal the pre-wedding crazies truly are.  It’s the balancing act of trying to stay completely calm to things out of our control (they also are getting married out of the country) and involved enough that the detail isn’t missed.  Less “balancing act” and more “bloody miracle”.

I wish I had the golden key to give but unfortunately I don’t.  I would however recommend not underestimating just how much time and emotional energy a wedding actually takes, and definitely marrying a man (or woman) who is exceptionally patient.  Remarkably so in my case.

We still don’t have the detail sorted.  The food is quasi-sorted.  As in we know we’re having some.  The flowers are almost there, as in “yes there will be flowers”.  The wine we are doing a mission for when we get there.  Not a moment too soon, but we’re getting there.

I love it when a plan comes together :)