Tag Archives: Love

The Trouble with Trouble

The trouble with blogging about trouble in love and business is that it’s rather close to home.  If not left long enough it’s rather obvious what one is referring to.

The past few weeks have been full of all sorts of trouble, which will rightfully take its place in the coming weeks in this blog as the obligatory time passes.

In the the meantime, here’s one I wrote earlier:

 http://whatnottodoinloveandbusiness.com/the-5-love-languages/

Love languages.  In the run-up to Christmas might be worth it to brush up on these as a little reminder in to why a present won’t always cut it….

 

Re-Inventing The Wheel In Relationships

Funny how we would always expect to be taught or learn from others in a job, but the same often doesn’t apply in our relationships?

Being recently married I’m discovering faults I never knew I had.  Bit like doing a new exercise and discovering muscles you didn’t know existed.  But messier.

If I was really lost for a solution at work I’d put a question out to one of the teams, ask my boss, put a question on Quora… as you do.  Relationships though are another story.  It seems we either say nothing (pride or embarrassment?) or just moan to our friends.  Neither of these solutions I’ve found to be particularly helpful in the past.

Last Saturday night we had friends round for the evening and I decided to ask the two other couples what wisdom they had on a particular issue my husband and I are working through currently.  Nothing too private, but I figure if they’ve been married a while longer than we have maybe they have some quick-win tips?  They had a couple, but really it was just nice to get our challenge out in the air and ‘normalise’ it.

I’m determined to not re-invent the wheel in my marriage.  Surrounded by dozens of happily married couples who are obviously doing something right, I’m certain we could really gain from just being honest and asking questions.  The honesty has been strengthening our friendships too…. funny.  A little transparency goes a long way.  Even if our friends have nothing to give, sometimes it’s worth hearing that you’re not alone in your quest to figure out the mystery that is relationship.

Is Marriage Back In Style?

We’re at a wedding tomorrow – the 3rd one (including ours) in 3 months.  And that’s just our close friends.

Maybe it’s because I’m married that I now notice all the women my age on the tubes in the morning with wedding rings.  Half my co-workers though – most of whom are younger than me – and most of my friends are married too.  Is it that marriage is coming back in style?

London, the single man’s mecca, is growing up it seems.  Or maybe it’s just that we are.  Either way, I like it.

It seems the taboo on ‘giving up your freedom’ turned out to be a little ridiculous, and girls everywhere are back to dreaming about  weddings and their lives as part of a duo. Turns out ‘freedom’ and ‘loneliness’ can often be interchangeable.  One month in and I can not state enough how much fun it is waking up next to your best friend every morning.

Hey – if even Kate Moss is doing it, it must be cool.

And there you have it.  For once in my life, I’m in the ‘in’ crowd.

 

 

The Beauty In Community

One week, 40 people, 6 Countries.

We all met in Costa Rica for the wedding that would take place 5 days later; the group committed to the next 7 days with each other for better or for worse.

What ensued was truly the most joyous occasion.  Each individual party – most not knowing each other – took time to get to know the others, with there never being the same combination twice at a meal it seemed.

Regardless of what the day held we would all gather for ‘happy hour’ (most of which was taken up simply waiting for your drink from the poor inexperienced barman) as the greater group, spending time convalescing over our days.

Come the day of the wedding the group had grown to know and love each other.  The wedding party was truly that – a real party.  Not needing to make the small talk necessary in groups of strangers, the entire group truly let their hair down and enjoyed the day and each other.

Needless to say the dance floor was truly something else.

What resulted was 2 families who will always feel they hold relationship with the other regardless of the fact we live on different continents, and friendships that we deepened as dear friends were brought in to the family fold.

I’ve realised from this once again that when it comes to building community, nothing can replace the value of time.

Ode To Those That Were Never Sure

To all those that were never sure

To those that were waiting with bated breath to see if I would fail

To the past that is firmly behind me

To the mistakes I’ve made – and thankfully learned from

To being single

To having lots of space and free time ;)

To all that comes to an end when I marry the man of my dreams:

The Proof Is In The Pudding

I would like to start this post with a disclaimer – not all posts on my mistakes in love have anything to do with the gorgeous man I’m engaged to.  This post does not.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way to such an extent that I’m still working on taking people at their word again.

That little niggling feeling when the gorgeous honey-slicked words don’t line up with the actions?  That’s not cynicism that’s wisdom.

There’s a big difference between a goofy well-intentioned partner who can’t quite pull it together on the much-anticipated date night and the one who doesn’t turn up until late that night, long after the promised pick-up time, with flowers, gifts and a story that could rival Gone With The Wind.

It’s easy to dismiss great big six-foot frantically waving red flags as ‘being over-emotional’.  On the flip-side, maybe you are.   Learning to trust my gut – and also learning to not act immediately on every gut notion – have been two of my greatest lessons in both love and business.  Learning to trust with eyes wide-open maybe.

If you’re just not sure give it time… the proof is always in the pudding.