Tag Archives: Family

Silos of Character

Why is it that we always give those closest to us the hardest times?

They say (whoever they are) that you always hurt the ones closest to you.  Why?  It makes no sense.  Is it because when the walls come down we somehow feel free to act towards those closest to us in a way that we’d never dare treat others?

I’m convinced that different areas of our lives mature at different rates – in silos almost.  The person I’ve become in the professional world and the character I’ve learned doesn’t always translate in to my home life.  I have a theory that it’s possibly because in my job I have built a career with thousands of little integrous decisions that no one ever knows about but me, but that have developed me in to the person that I am now. Most certainly I have a long way to go, but I’ve come a long way.

Having only been married a few months, I’m making good decisions (and bad) but building the foundations of character in that area of my life is quite a bit less developed.  So, I react to situations sometimes in my marriage in ways that I would never react at work.  Funny.  Yet each time I make a good decision, choose to let go of my old stubborn ways, put the other person first, I move closer and closer towards becoming the person of character in my marriage that I would love to be.

So maybe that’s why we attack those closest to us.. because we’ve not built the foundations there in the same way that we have with those in other environments.   I’m working towards getting better though, growing up, one good decision at a time.

 

The Beauty In Community

One week, 40 people, 6 Countries.

We all met in Costa Rica for the wedding that would take place 5 days later; the group committed to the next 7 days with each other for better or for worse.

What ensued was truly the most joyous occasion.  Each individual party – most not knowing each other – took time to get to know the others, with there never being the same combination twice at a meal it seemed.

Regardless of what the day held we would all gather for ‘happy hour’ (most of which was taken up simply waiting for your drink from the poor inexperienced barman) as the greater group, spending time convalescing over our days.

Come the day of the wedding the group had grown to know and love each other.  The wedding party was truly that – a real party.  Not needing to make the small talk necessary in groups of strangers, the entire group truly let their hair down and enjoyed the day and each other.

Needless to say the dance floor was truly something else.

What resulted was 2 families who will always feel they hold relationship with the other regardless of the fact we live on different continents, and friendships that we deepened as dear friends were brought in to the family fold.

I’ve realised from this once again that when it comes to building community, nothing can replace the value of time.