Re-Inventing The Wheel In Relationships

Funny how we would always expect to be taught or learn from others in a job, but the same often doesn’t apply in our relationships?

Being recently married I’m discovering faults I never knew I had.  Bit like doing a new exercise and discovering muscles you didn’t know existed.  But messier.

If I was really lost for a solution at work I’d put a question out to one of the teams, ask my boss, put a question on Quora… as you do.  Relationships though are another story.  It seems we either say nothing (pride or embarrassment?) or just moan to our friends.  Neither of these solutions I’ve found to be particularly helpful in the past.

Last Saturday night we had friends round for the evening and I decided to ask the two other couples what wisdom they had on a particular issue my husband and I are working through currently.  Nothing too private, but I figure if they’ve been married a while longer than we have maybe they have some quick-win tips?  They had a couple, but really it was just nice to get our challenge out in the air and ‘normalise’ it.

I’m determined to not re-invent the wheel in my marriage.  Surrounded by dozens of happily married couples who are obviously doing something right, I’m certain we could really gain from just being honest and asking questions.  The honesty has been strengthening our friendships too…. funny.  A little transparency goes a long way.  Even if our friends have nothing to give, sometimes it’s worth hearing that you’re not alone in your quest to figure out the mystery that is relationship.

8 Thoughts on “Re-Inventing The Wheel In Relationships

  1. Faults?! I have no faults! :) Sorry, I have no words of wisdom to add. But, I enjoyed your post. It’s always nice when we can glean (and give) knowledge and support. I wish you the best — in all your relationships!

  2. Welcome to married life Sherrod! I like the way you approach things…keep us posted. Nb I have been happily married for 15 years and have no idea how I manage it!

  3. Julia M. on March 28, 2011 at 10:51 pm said:

    Love it!!!!

  4. Mrs Sue Waldron on March 29, 2011 at 10:23 am said:

    Love the blog – after nearly 36 years of married life we are still learning about each other!! But we’re always here to help pass on any wisdom we have gained over the years!
    But the big thing is to always talk things through and let each other know how you feel about a situation!

  5. Rebecca Sherrod Patching on March 29, 2011 at 10:56 am said:

    thanks for all the comments and wise words – nice to have others on the journey : )

  6. Agnes on March 29, 2011 at 7:29 pm said:

    Wow!i’m not married yet but thanks for the wisdom.

  7. Honesty is key. “Honey, when you do this, it bothers me–a lot. Could you stop?”

    “Ok, but I do this because you are illogical when you do this. Can you stop that?”

    “Ok. I forgive you and I love you no matter what.”

    “Ditto.”

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