Category Archives: Marriage & Relationships

Relationship tips, lessons learned the hard way in dating, marriage tips, marriage lessons

Is Marriage Back In Style?

We’re at a wedding tomorrow – the 3rd one (including ours) in 3 months.  And that’s just our close friends.

Maybe it’s because I’m married that I now notice all the women my age on the tubes in the morning with wedding rings.  Half my co-workers though – most of whom are younger than me – and most of my friends are married too.  Is it that marriage is coming back in style?

London, the single man’s mecca, is growing up it seems.  Or maybe it’s just that we are.  Either way, I like it.

It seems the taboo on ‘giving up your freedom’ turned out to be a little ridiculous, and girls everywhere are back to dreaming about  weddings and their lives as part of a duo. Turns out ‘freedom’ and ‘loneliness’ can often be interchangeable.  One month in and I can not state enough how much fun it is waking up next to your best friend every morning.

Hey – if even Kate Moss is doing it, it must be cool.

And there you have it.  For once in my life, I’m in the ‘in’ crowd.

 

 

The Wedding Countdown Part 2

The Happiness Within
Creative Commons License photo credit: Arghya a.k.a Orgho

23 days.

Things are looking up considerably from the last time I counted.

We have good friends who are getting married a week or so before we are, and talking to them makes me realise how very normal the pre-wedding crazies truly are.  It’s the balancing act of trying to stay completely calm to things out of our control (they also are getting married out of the country) and involved enough that the detail isn’t missed.  Less “balancing act” and more “bloody miracle”.

I wish I had the golden key to give but unfortunately I don’t.  I would however recommend not underestimating just how much time and emotional energy a wedding actually takes, and definitely marrying a man (or woman) who is exceptionally patient.  Remarkably so in my case.

We still don’t have the detail sorted.  The food is quasi-sorted.  As in we know we’re having some.  The flowers are almost there, as in “yes there will be flowers”.  The wine we are doing a mission for when we get there.  Not a moment too soon, but we’re getting there.

I love it when a plan comes together :)

The Wedding Countdown

50 days.

3 weeks ago people were asking me “how many days” and I had no idea.  I must admit I felt a little guilty I’d not been counting.  Then, I realised why people count.

50 days to organise the day – the wedding planner is still missing and the hotel is still refusing to take our calls.

50 days to ensure everyone has hotel bookings, travel arrangements, suits, shirts, ties, dresses.

50 days to get my dress back, have it altered, and not lose weight whatsoever to ensure it doesn’t slide down my front forever ruining the best day of my life. Actually 20 days as it doesn’t arrive for another month.

30 days to gym incessantly to finally get in one month the body I have wanted all of my life, all in time for the arrival of the dress.

50 days to get the rings back that were due to be finished 3 months ago.

50 days to plan a honeymoon – though currently the option of ‘winging it’ is currently getting the highest vote.  Leo concurs.

45 days to our arrival in Costa Rica – leaving 5 days to somehow guide 40 tourists 5 hours to the coast, get them all situated in the casitas we’ve booked – the address of which on the website is ‘1.5 kilometers South of Ventanas Beach and 500 meters North of the entrance of Tortuga Beach’ (so.. we’ll just drive around till we find it with a bus of 40 tourists) to view the venue for the first time, find a suitable restaurant for the night before the wedding dinner (not a rehearsal dinner as we’re not rehearsing; heck we can totally pull this off) and have at least 1 major breakdown as all my sound minded businesswomen friends are telling me will be totally ok if it happens.  Apparently it happens to all of us.

Maybe I’ll leave out the counting.

The 5 Love Languages

 

This week I’ve been learning about Love Languages.  If you’ve never had the chance, “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is worth a read.

Leo (my fiance) and I have been attending a marriage prep course for the past 4 weeks.  It’s raised a few “discussions with purposes” (previously know as domestics) since then.  All part of the learning curve : )

So my love language is quality time.  I for some reason in believing I know my other half sooo well assumed (ass out of u and me) that his was too.

Nope.  His is gifts.  I’m now racking my brains for the last time I bought him a gift –  I’ve got nothing.

Oh. Except the Christmas present that I got him last year that he promptly left on the floor and that is the source of a number of our disagreements.  Crap.

An hour later we are sitting with our completed exercise sheets on “3 ways we are going to look to show love to the other this week  in their love language” and I can see top of his list “arrange a date night” (nice – the last one he arranged was when he proposed 6 months ago).  Good call, that was definitely a “discussion with a purpose” brewing.

I then glance down at my own:

  1. Surprise Leo with a thoughtful gift  (Check – piece of cake.)
  2. Buy a thoughtful birthday present (lucky for me I needed to do that this week)
  3. Make a surprise for Leo – maybe bake something (Who am I kidding?????  When is the last time you even cooked much less baked????)

It is at this point that I realize this relationship stuff may take a little more effort….